One of my big gripes about web designers and so called digital “marketers” is their love of utterly meaningless corpo-babble and wimpy “big dumb company” marketing speak.
It drives me nuts.
But where does it come from?
Well, I’ve many theories, but I think it primarily boils down to two things: lack of liathroidí and a dearth of REAL marketing education.
Put those two together and they’re as useless as a bloke who’s done just a few weeks of Muay Thai training and suddenly thinks he’s a badass.
It results in web design “studios” clogging up their websites with pointless infographics and photos of silly Starbucks swilling hipsters frolicking in chrome-plated offices, gushing excitedly about their love of coffee and bleeding edge UX design, or some other irrelevant fancy.
They pollute the ‘net with inane rubbish like “we’re passionate about building you positive and comprehensive brand experiences” or “we believe awesome design demands unique creativity”.
Seriously, do they actually believe this crap?
A website’s main function of selling is ignored; instead the focus is placed onto a “comprehensive brand experience” or some other nonsense which could barely sell a hunger striker a hamburger.
Does that sound like it could sell anything to you?
To any sane business, a website is no more than another sales and marketing asset it has at its disposal, and created correctly it can be a damn effective one.
It’s no different an asset to your sales team, who’re out there in the field trying to persuade prospects they should buy your product or use your service.
Can you imagine if one of your salesmen sauntered into your office one day and proclaimed aloud, “Just had an AWESOME meeting with a prospect. During our meeting she had positive warm and fuzzies about our brand experience, and was thoroughly engaged with our creative process”.
How long would he last, if he insisted on talking such garbage?
Not long I’d wager. His butt would soon be booted out the door.
But maybe I’m wrong about all of this.
It’s possible I’ve got all this completely arse about face, but I’m of the impression that your website exists solely to make your business money.
It should be held accountable and justify its existence, and should provide some semblance of a return on investment.
Else why in God’s name does it exist in the first place?
Maybe you agree, and you’d like to use the web to get your business leads, attract customers and make it money.
If that’s the case, we should talk.
Keith “Dhá Liathroidí Mhór” Commins
P.S. I might actually do a post one day giving a rundown of hipster design-speak, it would be “so full of awesome”. It would provide an invaluable public service to the web design buying public I think.