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All I Want For Christmas Is Some Marketing Skillz

Being the masochist I am I spent yesterday blundering round the Blanchardstown Centre in the bollock-breaking cold doing the last of my Christmas shopping (what can I say, I’m a typical “man” according to my barber-ette for doing this, so I might as well live up to the stereotype…)

Anyways, the place was unsurprisingly chaotic but the store I was buying my niece her gift was utter bedlam.

But not because of volume….

‘Twas because they had hired a chain gang of fresh-faced, inexperienced till operators who were making a balls of things left, right and centre.

They were, pardon the pun, all over the shop.

Now working a cash register isn’t necessarily the hardest job in the world, but these kids were thrown into the deep end without a life preserve.

They were clueless. Expected to swim without so much as a lesson in how to do the breaststroke.

Even the simple fundamentals of operating the register seemed to be alien to them.

Then it hit me. Maybe they were digital marketers, taking a break from their Twittering in an attempt hustle up a few quid for Christmas?

It would sure make sense.

Yes, I know I give digital marketers a hard aul’ time.

But seeing the chaos whilst out shopping made me wonder.

You see, I stumbled across this article a few days ago which sums up the “digital marketing” mindset to a tee.

They were rapping about what skillz are gonna be hot property in 2014.

Much ado about stuff like mobile, analytics, social media, seo and so forth..

Nothing of course on getting the fundamentals right first, like deep market analysis or understanding what your market really wants..

Nah, that shit’s just waay too boring to be considered valuable.

Why waste one’s time with the basics when you can just play around on Facebook and pretend it’s work?

It’s the same old story with these people: making the medium their everything.

Deciding on what medium you use to market your product comes AFTER you know your market inside out, and have crafted a message that resonates deeply with them, not before.

So my 2014 tip for digital marketers is thus: learn the basics of marketing first.

Familiarise yourself with the classic works of geniuses like Claude Hopkins, Rosser Reeves and Vic Schwab.

Know who your market is, inside out. Learn how to persuade and to write compelling copy that hits them in their emotional sweet spots.

Then, and only then do you worry about the media.

Stay Hungry,

Keith “Watch me in 2014” Commins

P.S. I’ve been teasing you for the last few days to watch your inboxes about something I’m going to send you over Christmas, wrecking your head with talk about $500 books and so forth.

Well, it relates to my diatribe about shop assistants digital marketers. It’s one of fundamentals, and getting the basics right.

Starting with tomorrow’s email, I’m going to give a rundown of 10 essential business, marketing and mindset books you should start reading not in 2014, but right after you’ve finished your turkey and taken your auntie’s eye out after a lob-sided cracker pulling contest.

And tomorrow’s weighty tome?

Well, coincidentally I bought the same book for my Da, so I’ll be telling you both about it then.

Merry Christmas.

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